


Saved Those Feelings for You

by mylifeiskara



Series: Bellarke Bingo Board [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellarke Bingo, Best friend's brother, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Sex, Miscommunication, Summer Romance, With some light angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylifeiskara/pseuds/mylifeiskara
Summary: Clarke never expected her crush on her best friend's brother to amount to anything. But when something does happen between her and Bellamy, she's surprised at how hard it's going to be to let him go.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Series: Bellarke Bingo Board [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554154
Comments: 10
Kudos: 142
Collections: Bellarke Bingo





	Saved Those Feelings for You

**Author's Note:**

> So as someone who has written [two](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18580390/chapters/44046550) [other](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7052734/chapters/16034572) high school AUs, with plans for another, getting High School AU on my bingo card was a very exciting development! 
> 
> My main goal with this story was to capture the vibe of [8TEEN](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAk98kIpt3E) by Khalid (which is also what the title is from). Not sure I succeeded, but I do like the results.
> 
> Tropes Used: High school AU + Summer romance + Frantic kiss
> 
> And special thanks to [imunbreakabledude](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imunbreakabledude/pseuds/imunbreakabledude) for being an encouraging beta on this! If you're into Killing Eve, her stuff is great!

“Clarke?” a voice calls from downstairs.

Clarke groans as her eyes flutter open. What could her mom want on a Saturday morning in June? It’s not like she has anywhere to be.

“Clarke? Are you awake?” Her mom’s voice seems to be getting closer.

Clarke rolls over, fully intending to fall back asleep, when she rolls onto someone’s arm. Her eyes go wide as she sees Bellamy, still fast asleep in her bed. He snuck in through the window in the middle of the night. Usually he’s gone by now, but they must have both fallen asleep.

“Shit! Bellamy!” Clarke whispers as she nudges her companion awake.

Bellamy grunts and shakes his head as if to signal not to bother him.

“My mom is coming!”

Bellamy’s eyes snap open. “Shit!”

“Just get under the bed for now, we can sneak you out when she’s gone!”

Bellamy pulls Clarke’s comforter back and practically dives onto the floor and under her bed as Abby knocks on Clarke’s door. Clarke situates herself back in bed as if she’s still waking up.

“Clarke?” her mom says one more time before letting herself in.

“Hi,” Clarke smiles sleepily.

“What are you still doing in bed? We’re going to brunch with Thelonius and Wells today.”

“I forgot to set my alarm.”

“Well get moving. We have to leave in half an hour.” She closes the door and retreats back downstairs.

Clarke waits about a minute before poking her head under the bed and giving Bellamy the all clear.

“I’m never sleeping over again,” Bellamy proclaims as he gathers his clothes and puts them on.

“Don’t say that like this is my fault! I reminded you that you should probably leave, but you’re the one that always insists on cuddling.”

“I’m a very tactile person, that can’t be helped!”

Clarke chuckles and gets up from bed, moving towards the window while Bellamy pulls on his shoes.

“You really should just come to my house, at least then you have an excuse to be there,” he points out.

“Every time I’ve had a sleepover with Octavia, she’s always the last to fall asleep. That wouldn’t work either.”

Bellamy pouts as he steps in front of the window. Clarke rolls her eyes but presses one last kiss to his lips before he climbs out.

“Text me later.” With that he’s climbing down the trellis and running off down the sidewalk as if he was never there.

Clarke sighs and closes the window before heading to the bathroom to get ready.

If 17-year-old Clarke Griffin told her 13-year-old self that she’d one day be in the midst of a summer fling with Bellamy Blake, it would have seemed like a cruel joke. She would have said that Octavia’s older brother would only ever see her as his little sister’s best friend, or even worse, another sibling. Clarke had always assumed her crush on Bellamy was unrequited, just another fact of life. All the girls at school were obsessed with him, and he could have anyone he wanted. He even dated a high school senior when he was a sophomore. He was the golden boy.

A month or so before Bellamy’s high school graduation, Clarke noticed a subtle shift in their interactions. She’s not sure what prompted it, but one day instead of staying sequestered in his room, Bellamy came to get a snack and then plopped down at the kitchen table with Octavia and Clarke while they did their homework. He and Clarke ended up talking so much that Octavia left the room to go work somewhere quiet. Clarke didn’t know how to feel at first. Sure, they’d had conversations before, but Octavia was always a part of them. This was their first conversation as just Bellamy and Clarke. She tried not to read too much into it.

They went to Octavia’s last few lacrosse games of the season together, which was convenient since they were both going to support her. They talked more when they weren’t cheering, and Clarke tried not to read too much into Bellamy’s knee knocking against hers or the moment she swore she caught him staring. She didn’t want to make herself crazy when she knew nothing was actually going on.

Eventually it got to the point where she didn’t feel like she was being crazy, especially since Octavia started dating Atom, leaving Clarke to hang out with Bellamy instead. Sure she had other friends, but spending time with him had become part of her routine, especially when Octavia would forget to tell Clarke that she wouldn’t be able to hang out.

On one such Saturday when Octavia had a movie date, Bellamy and Clarke decided to go for ice cream. They sat together on a picnic table chatting and eating their cones. Clarke was in the middle of a heated rant about a boy she sort of dated earlier in the year when Bellamy reached over to wipe some ice cream off her cheek with his thumb. Somewhere in this interaction, his hand wandered up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, causing Clarke’s breath to hitch. They stared at each other for Clarke’s not sure how long. Time might have stopped as they got lost in each other’s eyes. She searched his for some sort of answer or a sign. Could this actually be happening? Eventually Bellamy broke the spell by clearing his throat and running a hand through his hair. Maybe this whole thing wasn’t just in Clarke’s head after all.

The day of Bellamy’s graduation party was when Clarke finally got an answer to all the lingering touches and sustained eye contact. The party was in full swing, more teenagers packed into the Blake house than Clarke thought would be possible, but she couldn’t find Bellamy anywhere. Assuming he was probably taking a break from the crowd, she went upstairs to look for him, knowing he liked to climb onto the roof through his bedroom window. She found him there, alone and staring into the contents of his Solo cup.

She sat down next to him and they stared up at the stars together. He offered her some of his drink and she silently took it.

“Isn’t this your party?” Clarke asked after sipping from the cup and handing it back.

“Technically Miller and Murphy planned it, and I just provided the location,” Bellamy answered.

“Hate to break it to you, but that still technically makes it your party.”

Bellamy chuckled and ran his hand through his hair. He seemed to be looking everywhere but at Clarke, which of course made Clarke crazy.

“Can I ask you something?”

He snorted. “You’re gonna ask anyway.”

She was glad it was dark so he couldn’t see the blush beginning to form on her face. “Have you been flirting with me?”

Bellamy’s eyes went wide, and Clarke felt about as shocked as he looked. She had no idea where she had summoned the courage to outright ask him.

“What?” was all Bellamy could manage.

“This past month, when we’ve been hanging out. You’ve been flirting with me, haven’t you?”

He paused before answering, “And what if I was?”

Clarke’s heart felt like it might burst out her chest it was beating so fast. She didn’t know how else to respond, so she leaned closer and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. At first, Bellamy didn’t seem to have any real reaction and Clarke’s heart plummeted. Maybe he really hadn’t been flirting with her. She only thought this for a moment, because Bellamy finally reacted by placing a hand on Clarke’s cheek and kissing her again.

Clarke doesn’t remember much else of that night. Not because she was drunk or anything like that, but mostly because she was in shock. That night brought another shift in her relationship with Bellamy, one that she was still wrapping her head around, although it was welcome. She and Bellamy never really talked about what they were to each other. They just started hooking up, and nobody seemed to notice. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between the two of them that Octavia didn’t need to know, which somehow ended up in the whole arrangement being a secret.

She doesn’t mind it being a secret. Since Bellamy’s going away to college at the end of the summer, this thing between them obviously has an expiration date. It’s just a fun thing they’re doing until he goes away to school. So there’s really no point in telling people and making it a bigger deal than it actually is.

Clarke sits down to a somewhat uneventful brunch with her mother and the Jahas forty-five minutes later. It’s always nice to see Wells, since he moved further away a few years ago. It’s much easier to talk to him over FaceTime though, since their parents tend to monopolize all of the conversation when they meet in person.

That might be a good thing during this particular outing. As they’re eating, Wells kicks Clarke’s foot under the table to get her attention. She looks up at him with a glare to see that he’s discreetly tugging at his shirt collar. Clarke narrows her eyes, not completely sure what he’s getting at. Wells gives up and mouths the word ‘hickey’, and Clarke is mortified. She probably forgot to cover up one of the hickeys Bellamy gave her in a rush to be ready to go.

Clarke thanks heaven that she’d decided against getting a haircut and flips her hair over her shoulder. She hopes that’s enough to draw attention away from her neck. She reminds herself to give Bellamy a hard time about it. He’ll probably just laugh, but if this thing between them is supposed to be a secret, maybe he shouldn’t be giving her hickeys where anyone can see them.

As brunch draws to a close, Wells and Clarke get up from the table and wait for their parents in the atrium of the restaurant as they pay the bill. They don’t say anything for a moment, which is fine. But Wells decides to break the silence.

“You should probably remember to cover up your hickeys before going out, you know,” Wells jokes. “Especially with your mom.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, but chuckles. “Shut up. I was in a rush this morning.”

“So I take it you’re seeing someone, and I’m only a little offended you didn’t tell me about it.”

“I wouldn’t really say I’m seeing someone. At least, it’s not serious. So it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, hence why I didn’t tell you.”

“Is this your way of saying I’m not allowed to know who it is?” Wells gathers.

“Nobody knows who it is. It’s really not a big deal. It’ll be over when summer ends.”

“You sound so certain of that.”

Clarke shrugs. “I just know.” She doesn’t really want to dwell on it anymore than she already has, so she hopes Wells takes the hint and asks her about something else.

“Well whoever it is, I hope they know how lucky they are.”

“Thanks, Wells.”

Clarke’s mom and Thelonius finally come out of the restaurant, so Clarke and Wells say their last goodbyes, promising to FaceTime soon. It’s when Clarke’s back in the car with her mom that she gets a text from Octavia asking if she wants to have a spa afternoon. She texts back yes, and says she’ll be over in a little while.

“Any plans for the rest of the day?” Abby asks.

“Actually, could you drop me off at Octavia’s? We’re gonna do face masks,” Clarke explains.

Abby nods and starts on the familiar route to the Blake house. It’s actually not that far from the restaurant they were at, so they make it in record time.

Clarke says goodbye to her mom and heads up the walkway to ring the doorbell. She’s surprised when Bellamy answers.

Bellamy frowns. “You never texted me.”

“I was at brunch!”

“And now you’re unexpectedly at my doorstep,” he smirks.

Clarke rolls her eyes. He’s really so full of himself.

“Octavia told me to come over. Is she here?”

“She went to lunch with Atom and she’s not back yet.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll come in and wait.”

Bellamy steps back to let Clarke into the house. She pulls out her phone to send Octavia a text as Bellamy closes the door.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Texting Octavia to tell her I’m here.”

Bellamy puts his hand over Clarke’s phone so that she’s forced to look up at him.

“Or… we could take advantage of her absence. My mom’s gone for the day, too,” he said, waggling his eyebrows.

Clarke snorts. “Please don’t make that face ever again.”

“You like my face, Griffin.” He puts her phone down on the table and takes her hands in his.

“I don’t think I ever said that.”

“It was implied when you kissed my face.”

“If you ever want me to kiss your face again, you should stop smirking at me like that.” Clarke realizes this threat is hollow, seeing as she threads her arms around his neck as she says it.

Bellamy takes that as a signal to close the distance between them. Clarke melts into his arms, and it’s only a little alarming how used to this she is. He pulls away only to lead them upstairs to his bedroom.

Once Bellamy closes the door, Clarke is immediately on him again. She can feel him chuckle against her face, but he matches her enthusiasm. Their kiss is frantic, like they’re competing for something, though Clarke’s not really sure what. All of their kisses since they started have been fast-paced and hurried. Maybe this one more so because they’re trying to make this quick.

Bellamy’s tongue slides easily into Clarke’s mouth as they back their way to Bellamy’s bed. They separate so Bellamy can pull his shirt off. He throws it to the ground and perches over Clarke before kissing her again. Though their kiss is hurried, Clarke takes her time running her hands up and down Bellamy’s back, still a little in shock that this is her life right now.

They’re so lost in each other, which might explain why neither of them heard the front door open or Octavia’s calls to Bellamy until it was too late.

She opens Bellamy’s bedroom door as she speaks, “Hey Bell, Clarke is coming over— Oh shit!”

Clarke shrieks, while Bellamy lets out a loud “Fuck!” and rolls off the bed.

Octavia stands stunned in the doorway. Nobody knows how to proceed. Clarke knows she’s probably as red as a tomato right now. She spots Bellamy out of the corner of her eye hastily reaching for his discarded shirt and putting it back on.

“It seems that Clarke is already here,” Octavia finally manages before backing out the room and shutting the door.

Bellamy groans and lies back on the floor as Clarke puts her face in her hands.

“Well that’s not great,” Bellamy mumbles.

“I told you hooking up at your house was a bad idea!” Clarke moans. She gets up from Bellamy’s bed and heads for the door.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Well I have to go talk to your sister. I can’t just let her stew on this.”

“Sometimes it’s better to let her stew.”

“Bellamy, she’s my best friend. I have to talk to her. And I was originally here to see her anyway,” Clarke points out.

Bellamy sighs, but doesn’t say anything else, which Clarke takes as her cue to leave. She makes her way across the hall and knocks softly on Octavia’s closed door.

“Octavia?” she calls. No answer. “I’m coming in.”

She opens the door to find Octavia lying on her bed staring at the ceiling. Clarke shuts the door and wordlessly lies down next to her friend. She can’t read the expression on Octavia’s face, which isn’t the best sign. They sit in silence for a few minutes, Clarke figuring it’s probably better to go at Octavia’s pace.

“Of all the girls I expected to find in my brother’s bed, I don’t think you were on that list.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say it was unexpected.”

“I mean, I knew you always had a crush on him,” Octavia admits.

“You never said anything.”

“I figured you’d be embarrassed and just deny it.”

Clarke nods, knowing Octavia’s probably right about that.

“I just didn’t know that he ever liked you like that.”

“I didn’t either.”

“How long has this been going on?” Octavia finally asks.

“Since his graduation party.”

Octavia’s eyes are wide as she turns her head to look at Clarke. “You’ve kept this from me for a whole month?”

Clarke blushes. “I wasn’t sure how you would react! And to be fair, we really haven’t told anyone.”

“So you guys aren’t dating? You’re just having sex?”

“I guess so. We haven’t talked about it that much.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well when Finn wanted to just have sex with you earlier this year, you were really weird about it, but you hopped into bed with Bellamy immediately?”

“It wasn’t immediately! We only started having sex two weeks ago.”

Octavia grimaces. “Okay, well I didn’t need to know exactly when. But you didn’t answer my question. What makes it so different with Bellamy?”

“I don’t know, Octavia. Maybe I just like Bellamy more than Finn.”

Octavia doesn’t answer, but turns her head away from Clarke in favor of staring back up at the ceiling.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” Clarke whispers. She’s not sure she can handle losing her best friend over this.

Octavia sighs. “I’m not mad, Clarke. I’m just worried about you.”

“Why?”

“What are you gonna do when he goes away to school in August?”

“Well, it’ll probably just be over. I don’t think Bellamy wants to go away to college still attached to someone.”

“Did he tell you that, or are you just assuming?”

“It’s just an unspoken thing,” Clarke says as it finally dawns on her how ridiculous that actually sounds.

Octavia rolls onto her side so she’s fully facing Clarke, but Clarke’s having trouble meeting Octavia’s eyes.

“Listen. I know you like Bellamy a lot more than you’re letting on, and I don’t want to see you get hurt when he moves away in a couple months. You guys can do whatever because it’s not my business, but I think you should actually talk about what this is you two are doing.”

“You’re probably right,” Clarke sighs. “You’re being really rational about this.”

“I just care about you both. And someone has to think rationally about this, because it’s clear the two of you haven’t really been using your heads.”

And with that, Octavia sits up and starts to gather some skincare products so they can start their spa afternoon. They don’t talk about it for the rest of the day, which is fine with Clarke. She’s happy to get to spend some time with her friend. But that doesn’t mean that everything Octavia said about what’s going on with Bellamy doesn’t replay over and over in her head.

Clarke knows Bellamy likes her. Otherwise he wouldn’t have kissed her back at his graduation party. She just can’t help but wonder if maybe she likes him a bit more than he likes her. She’s honestly beating herself up a little, because they probably should have talked about what they were to each other before any kissing happened. Being friends with your best friend’s brother and being more than friends with your best friend’s brother are very different things. And Clarke crossed over the line of friendship almost immediately.

She lies awake that night, still unsure of what her relationship with Bellamy actually is. It’s about 1am when she hears a knock at the window. She turns and sees Bellamy crouched on the overhang. She frowns. Usually he waits for a text to come over in case Clarke’s mom decides to stay awake. But she hadn’t texted him tonight, mostly because she wasn’t sure she wanted to see him. She gets up anyway and opens the window to let him in.

“I didn’t text you,” she whispers as she closes the window again.

“I know. But I wanted to check on you,” he whispers back before kissing her cheek.

“You can’t sleep over again, Bellamy.”

“I’ll leave when you tell me to leave, I promise.”

He takes off his shoes and lies down on the bed. He motions for Clarke to come sit. She hesitates, but eventually gives in and crawls in bed next to him so he can wrap her in his arms.

“Did you talk to Octavia?” she asks.

“A little,” Bellamy answers. “She was surprisingly calm about the whole thing.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too.”

“Then there must be something else bothering you.”

She lifts her head so she can see Bellamy’s face. “How do you know something’s bothering me?”

“You’re really tense. And if Octavia’s not upset about us, then there’s something else going on.”

Clarke isn’t sure when Bellamy started to know her this well, but she can’t decide if that should make her excited or scared. Maybe it’s a little bit of both.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot about the end of the summer,” she says, deciding to be honest. “You’re gonna go away to school, and we won’t get to see each other everyday.”

“Yeah. It’ll be different. But I’m only going three hours away. That’s not so bad.”

“Mhmmm.”

“And we can still text and talk on the phone.”

“This would be a lot easier if I didn’t know that what we were doing had an expiration date.”

Bellamy doesn’t respond, letting Clarke’s words sit in the air for what feels like an eternity. She can’t bear to lift her head to look at him, worried that she’ll see that his expression is fairly neutral, or even worse somehow, that he seems upset. They stay silent for so long that Clarke is almost convinced he’s fallen asleep.

“Well I guess we’ll just have to make the most of the time we have left,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Clarke curls herself further into Bellamy’s arms, hoping that somehow this will pause time, if only for a moment, so she can stay like this with him forever. It’s her own fault for getting so used to this arrangement when she knew it would have to end, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be a little sad about it. And Bellamy’s right. They’ll make the most of the time they have left.

Bellamy does end up sleeping over, but only because they both fall asleep in each other’s arms. Clarke wakes up to Bellamy shifting so that he can get up to sneak back home. It’s a little before 7. She flashes him a sleepy smile as he puts on his shoes. He smiles and reaches down to kiss her, causing her sleepy smile to morph into a sleepy grin. He pulls away and slinks noiselessly to the window, and just like that, he’s gone again. Clarke rolls over to reach for her phone and types out a quick text to him:

_Text me later. ;)_

The next two months, Clarke and Bellamy really do make the most of their time together. They see each other practically every day. Now that Octavia knows about them, they don’t see any reason why they have to keep this a secret from other people.

Their first group hangout they attend together is a barbecue at Miller’s house. His house is the go-to hangout spot since he has a pool. Clarke has never really hung out with Bellamy’s friends, aside from the times they’ve been over at Bellamy’s while she happened to be visiting with Octavia. She mentally prepared herself for lots of questions when they showed up together. But when they walk into Miller’s backyard hand-in-hand, nobody really bats an eyelash. Murphy looks up from where he’s flipping burgers at the grill, waves with his free hand, and goes back to what he’s doing. Miller gets up from the pool chair he’s sharing with his boyfriend Bryan and tells them where they can find drinks.

Her friend group definitely has more of a reaction about the whole thing. Clarke figures since Octavia has started bringing Atom to the diner they frequent, it’s probably okay to bring Bellamy along. Everyone else is already there when Clarke and Bellamy arrive, so when they walk up to the booth, everyone but Octavia seems shocked to see them together. Harper is the quickest to recover and turn her open-mouthed gape into a smile, but the same cannot be said for Monty and Jasper, who continue to stare even after Clarke and Bellamy finally sit down.

When they’re not hanging out with their friends, Bellamy and Clarke go on honest-to-God actual dates. Bellamy insists on paying all the time at the beginning, but Clarke finally gets him to agree to let them alternate, since she knows he’s trying to save most of the money from his summer job for his first semester of college. They do all sorts of things on their dates. They have picnics at the park on days Bellamy has off; they go to the movies and buy tickets to something bad on purpose so they can make out for most of it; they even play mini-golf a couple times.

Clarke’s favorite date hands down is one near the end of the summer when they go back to the same ice cream place where they hung out the night that Clarke realized that Bellamy might actually like her back. They sit on top of the same picnic table, just with different snacks; a peanut butter sundae for Clarke and a milkshake for Bellamy. They’re sitting in comfortable silence, Clarke a little too busy eating her sundae to say anything of note anyway.

“I’m almost afraid to ask, but can I try your sundae?” Bellamy asks.

Clarke looks up from her ice cream, spoon slightly hanging out of her mouth. She must look ridiculous because Bellamy lets out a quiet chuckle.

“You just seem to really like it, so I wanted to see what all the hype was about.”

He opens his mouth, now patiently awaiting his spoonful. Clarke giggles as she dips her spoon back into the sundae and feeds it to Bellamy. He savors the bite, taking the task very seriously.

“Do you like it?” Clarke wonders.

“Yeah, I get why you were so focused on the sundae instead of me.”

She rolls her eyes and goes right back to eating. Bellamy laughs and slings an arm around her shoulders. Clarke leans into his touch as they go back to their silence.

Clarke’s had a lot on her mind as Bellamy’s college move-in date gets closer. He’s been busy going on shopping trips with his mom to get things for his dorm room. He’s been in contact with his roommate, and every now and again Bellamy mentions how excited he is to meet him in person. Clarke smiles and nods, even though it’s starting to break her a little every time he mentions that he’ll be leaving soon. It doesn’t matter if he’s only three hours away. He won’t be her Bellamy anymore.

“What are you thinking about?” Bellamy asks. He’s gotten into the habit of doing that lately, when he can feel Clarke tensing up. She’s going to miss how constantly he checks in.

“How you’re leaving soon,” she responds. She’s learned now it’s a lot easier to just be honest with him right off the bat. He can tell when she’s lying, anyway.

“We’ve still got a whole week. And the camping trip to look forward to.”

Clarke perks up at the mention of the camping trip. Bellamy had planned it with his high school friends, one last hurrah before they all go away to college. When Bellamy first told Clarke about it, she was a little hurt (even though she had no right to be) that Bellamy would want to spend one of his last nights at home away with his friends and not with her. But immediately after she had that thought, he asked if she wanted to come, to which she gladly agreed.

“That’s true,” Clarke says. “But this last week is going to fly by, and then it’ll be over.”

Bellamy shakes his head, almost as if he’s willing the thought away. “We don’t have to think about that right now, Clarke. Let’s just live in the moment.”

She frowns. “You know that’s very hard for me to do.”

“I know. But don’t you at least wanna try? For me?”

He hits her with his best puppy dog eyes, so she obviously can’t say no. She wants to live in the moment, she really does. And if there’s one person she’d do it for, it would probably be Bellamy. When did she get to the point where she’d do pretty much anything for Bellamy? She’s not sure, but she feels it deep in her gut. She swallows down the fear that realization brings her and smiles up at him.

“Of course,” Clarke says before reaching up to catch her lips with his. She really hopes this next week isn’t absolute torture.

Even living in the moment, the week still flies by, but there’s nothing better than coasting down the highway in the passenger seat of Bellamy’s car. Their car rides are another thing she’ll miss about this summer. They roll the windows all the way down, turn the music all the way up, and let the wind whip through their hair. Sometimes they would just ride around with no destination in particular, which is how they discovered a few new restaurants. As Bellamy makes his way down the highway, Clarke tries not to think about the fact that this will probably be the last time they get to have a car ride like this.

The campsite is a couple hours away near a lake, and the group agreed to meet in the early afternoon so they could get some swimming in before it got dark. They’re not the first to arrive, so Bellamy parks by Murphy’s car. Clarke helps Bellamy get their tent and other stuff out of the trunk, and they head over to where Murphy and his girlfriend Emori are already set up.

One of the things that Clarke has learned about Bellamy’s friend Murphy this past summer is that he’s always in charge of cooking, so it’s no surprise that he’s already set up a little portable grill and is getting things ready for lunch. Emori smiles and waves as Clarke and Bellamy approach, but then goes back to reading her book.

They pitch their tent a decent enough distance away from Murphy and Emori’s, so they hopefully have some privacy. By the time their tent is up, Miller and Bryan are pulling up in Miller’s car, and finally the gang’s all arrived.

Once Miller and Bryan are situated, the group brings the food Murphy cooked down to the lake. They spend the afternoon eating, swimming, and sitting in the sun. Clarke comes back up to the bank to apply more sunscreen, leaving the boys to continue roughhousing. She joins Emori by her towel. Clarke smiles at Emori, though with sunglasses on, she’s unsure if the other girl is asleep or not. She gets an answer as she’s halfway through reapplying sunscreen to her arms.

“You probably get this a lot, but you and Bellamy are really cute together,” Emori comments.

Clarke starts, but smiles. “We don’t, actually. Thanks.”

“I probably shouldn’t say anything, but John says that he hasn’t seem Bellamy this into anyone since he dated Gina.”

“I don’t know about that,” Clarke chuckles sadly, “since this whole thing’s about to end.”

“You guys aren’t staying together when he leaves?”

“It was never part of the plan.”

“Plans can change. It seems a shame to let such a good thing go.”

Clarke shrugs. “We knew from the start it was supposed to be temporary. We’ve talked about it.”

“Have you talked about it recently?” Emori frowns.

“Not really.”

“Well maybe you should.” Emori doesn’t say anything else, opting to go back to her book.

That night after dinner, everyone sits around a campfire. They make s’mores while exchanging scary stories. Bellamy makes fun of the way Clarke practically lets her marshmallow burn, but she claims that she has the marshmallow roasting process down to a science. To prove it, she makes him a s’more, and she takes his silence after he finishes it to mean that her method is the way to go.

Eventually the mood shifts, as Bryan gets out his guitar and strums quietly. Clarke lets her head rest in Bellamy’s lap, allowing him to play with her hair the way she likes. Emori and Murphy are on the other side of the fire talking and laughing with each other in hushed tones, and Miller is looking at Bryan as if he’s the only other person in the world. Bellamy’s hand running through her hair is comforting, but not comforting enough to hide the fact that Bellamy doesn’t want what Emori and Murphy and Bryan and Miller have with her.

Clarke abruptly sits up, hoping that will right the pit that seems to have formed in her stomach, but it doesn’t help. She sees the frown on Bellamy’s face, wondering what could be wrong, and she can’t take it anymore. She gets up from the group and excuses herself. She isn’t sure where she’s going, but she just knows she has to get away from there, with all the happy couples. She can’t live in denial anymore. This thing with her and Bellamy has to end, and she wishes it didn’t.

Her feet carry her back to the lake, and she sits down by the water, taking off her shoes to let her feet get wet. Now that she’s alone she lets the tears fall from her eyes. Clarke knew this would happen. She knew she’d get attached to Bellamy if anything happened between them, and she went ahead and kissed him anyway. This really is her own fault.

She’s not sure how long she’s sitting by herself when she hears her name.

“Clarke?” Bellamy calls out to her.

He makes his way over and sits down next to her. He doesn’t bother taking his shoes off.

“Your shoes are gonna get wet,” Clarke sniffles.

“They’ll dry,” he responds simply.

Clarke can feel his gaze on her, but she can’t bring herself to meet it.

“Clarke, can you please tell me what’s going on?”

She doesn’t answer right away, but she’s thankful he gives her a minute to gather her thoughts. Because once they’re gathered, they all come flowing out at once.

“I know I’ve been saying a lot that you’re leaving, but it really hit me as we were sitting by the campfire just then. I saw Emori and Murphy looking happy, and Miller and Bryan looking happy, and we were sitting there too and looking happy, but I didn’t feel happy. I don’t feel happy.”

She finally hazards a glance at him and isn’t prepared to see a look of guilt wash over his face. What does he have to feel guilty for?

“I didn’t think I would get so attached to you this summer,” she continues. “I thought we could just fool around and have fun, and it wouldn’t bother me that I couldn’t be with you when you went away to school. But now you’re leaving, and I can’t have you anymore, and it’s not fair.”

“You know, you’re the only one who’s ever said that this has to end,” Bellamy points out. She can’t help but notice that he sounds a little bitter.

Clarke frowns. “What do you mean?”

“You think this isn’t hard for me, too?”

“But you wanted this to be over when you went away!”

Bellamy seems angry now. “I never said that!”

“You agreed with me when I said that this thing had an expiration date!”

“Which you said first! I didn’t think we were going to have an expiration date!”

“But you’re going away to college! You don’t want to be attached to me. I’m just a junior in high school, and this was a convenient summer fling, and now it’s over, because college girls are gonna be all over you.”

Clarke puts her shoes on and gets back up, planning to walk back to the tent and just go to sleep until they have to leave.

“Clarke, I never said any of those things!” Bellamy shouts after her. “Has it ever occurred to you that I actually want to be attached to you?”

She stops walking then, stunned by his admission. She turns around and is met with him walking towards her. He’s close to tears, which makes her own eyes well up.

“I like you, Clarke. Fuck, I think I love you. And it’s been eating me up inside that you don’t seem to want to keep this going.”

“You love me?” Clarke breathes. This almost doesn’t feel real.

He lets out a nervous laugh as he finally reaches her. “Yeah.”

“I just thought that you saw me as your sister’s friend. I mean, us being together is such a huge movie cliché.”

“Yeah, but you’re so much more than that. You’re Clarke Griffin. You’re opinionated, passionate, smart, beautiful—”

Clarke laughs, cutting him off. “Stop!”

“No, I want to keep complimenting you. So you finally get it through your head that I really do want to be with you.”

“I think I got the message,” Clarke smiles, taking his hands in hers.

“You did?”

“Yeah. I want to be with you, too.”

Bellamy grins and leans down to kiss Clarke. This kiss doesn’t feel as crazed as most of their kisses this summer have seemed. It’s slow and deep, like they know they’re not going to lose each other. They’re going to make it out of summer still together, and Clarke couldn’t be happier.

When they pull apart, Bellamy rests his forehead on Clarke’s as he catches his breath.

“When I’m away at school, can we promise to communicate a little bit better than we have this summer?” he asks.

“Definitely. Octavia was right, we really weren’t using our heads.”

They laugh and Bellamy goes like he’s leaning in for another kiss, but picks Clarke up instead, carrying her like that all the way back to the campsite. She laughs even harder and revels in the fact that this really doesn’t have to end.

Clarke sits in the back seat next to Octavia on Sunday morning as she rides in the car with the Blakes to move Bellamy into his dorm room. He’d tried to persuade her not to come, but she insisted. She wants to see his room, maybe even meet his roommate. The ride is pretty quiet. Clarke mostly talks to Octavia, but she does keep making eye contact with Bellamy in the side mirror.

They arrive at Arkadia State around noon and park near the building that Bellamy’s going to be living in. Unloading the car doesn’t take too long with all the people milling around and helping out. Clarke and Octavia could probably be a bit more helpful, but they’re too busy staring at all the activity on a college campus. It’s Clarke’s first time on a college campus, so she can’t help but be excited.

They get Bellamy’s side of the room squared away and they all eat lunch together in the dining hall. It all goes by a little too quickly, and before Clarke knows it, it’s time for them to leave.

Bellamy gives his mom a long hug as Aurora does her best to hold back tears. He hugs Octavia next.

“Don’t cause too much trouble,” he says as he pulls away.

Octavia shrugs. “No promises.”

And that leaves Clarke. Bellamy smiles, which obviously makes her smile. But she feels a bit rooted to her spot. She’s not ready to say goodbye just yet.

“Why don’t we give you guys a minute?” Aurora says, ushering Octavia to the parking lot.

Bellamy waits a moment for them to actually walk away before moving forward and pulling Clarke into his arms. Clarke nestles her head into his neck, taking in his smell one last time for a little while.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Clarke says.

“I’m gonna miss you, too,” Bellamy whispers as he pulls away. “But hey, we’ll still get to talk all the time. And once I’m settled in, maybe you can come visit for a weekend.”

She grins. “I’d like that.”

They stand there together, swinging their hands, not ready for the moment to be over.

“Bellamy?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Bellamy’s eyes light up hearing Clarke say those words. They talked in the tent after he said ‘I love you’ about how he didn’t expect Clarke to say it back, but he had just wanted her to know. But Clarke does love Bellamy, and she wants him to know, too. She loves him, and she’s glad they figured their shit out.

“I love you, too.” He kisses her, though not for very long, since they’re out in public. Also Octavia and Aurora are nearby, so it doesn’t seem like the time for anything lengthy.

Clarke pulls him in for one last hug, but eventually lets go, because she knows she’ll start crying if she holds him any longer.

“Text me later?” he asks as she starts to make her way back to the car.

“You got it.”

He waves at them in the car as they drive off. Clarke watches as he finally turns around and heads back into his dorm room. And that’s when the first tears fall.

Clarke knew it would be hard seeing Bellamy off to college when she thought they would just have to go back to being friends, but it’s even harder having to leave her boyfriend. In the grand scheme of things, he really isn’t that far away, but it won’t be the same not seeing him everyday.

Octavia must notice that Clarke has started crying because she pats her leg from the front seat and hands her a tissue.

“You can always come to family weekend with us. Right, Mom?”

“Of course, Clarke!” Aurora agrees. She looks a bit misty-eyed as well. “I think Bellamy would like that.”

Clarke nods, not sure she’d be able to get anything coherent out at the moment.

She’s in her room later that evening when she gets a FaceTime from Bellamy. She immediately picks it up.

“Hi!” she smiles.

“You didn’t text me!” he responds, skipping over pleasantries. She can tell he’s not actually mad though, seeing as he’s far too smiley.

“Sorry. I was weirdly emotional on the way home.”

He nods. “I cried a little after you guys left. Don’t tell Octavia or my mom that, though.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

“I knew it would be.”

“So what’s on tap for you tonight? Are you going to a college party or something crazy like that?”

Bellamy laughs. “We have a floor meeting with our RA and then a dorm social. So no crazy parties tonight.”

“Oh. That’s probably soon, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to see your face again.”

Clarke blushes, still not used to the way Bellamy pays compliments when he’s in an actual relationship.

“And to say I love you.”

“I love you too, Bell.”

After he hangs up Clarke lies back on her bed and sighs, feeling more content than she has in a long time. If 17-year-old Clarke had told her 13-year-old self that she’d have a summer fling with Bellamy Blake that somehow resulted in him being her boyfriend, it would have seemed like a cruel joke. It still feels like a joke or some crazy dream even now that it’s actually happening to her. She can’t have imagined a more perfect summer, and she’s glad it all worked out in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and hope you guys enjoyed! Leave a comment and let me know what you think.
> 
> You can also come shout about things with me on [Tumblr!](https://sassmasterblake.tumblr.com/)


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